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We tell you it's fixed at $4 for the news and videos, but you have to pay an additional variable service fee that is determined monthly by an algorithm set by a donkey smashing it's head into a typewriter. Then we jack the price to like $37 without telling you (it's service fees... and you didn't shut the blinds / limit your use of air conditioning!) You cannot cancel this plan unless you move to another city / county.

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You know who you are, and you don't care what anyone thinks. Drinks are on me baby! Also, unredacted kingsgate report is on the house.

✓ Added Spicy McGrogan
✓ Shila Sharps dipping sauce